Just as real, just as hurt

A lot of girls make posts about how they don't fit the culture's idea of an "ideal body." Sometimes they say they're "real" because they aren't really skinny or blog about how much the twisted idea of beauty harms the girls who don't fit it. I agree to an extent, but I think there are issues on the other side of the problem as well.

The culture's idea of an ideal body is also harmful and even painful to those who do fit it. Unless all a girl cares about is attention, being called ideal can hurt. It makes her feel like an empty object. So, please, just remember this: valuing people by physical appearance doesn't just hurt those who aren't deemed physically beautiful by the culture. It also hurts those who are. Girls who are angry about the culture's twisted sense of beauty seem to label everyone who fits it as "fake" or "unrealistic." Instead, they need to recognize that harm is done to girls on both sides of the culture's faulty definition of beauty.

I wouldn't mind selfies IF...

1. People were creative.

There are millions of ways to take a self-portrait.

2. People made them their own.

To me, most selfies are the same picture... just with lots of different faces. Make them original, please.

3. People cared about photo-quality. 

If you have a good camera, please use it. iPhone cameras are not good, by the way.

4. People smiled when they're happy instead of duck-facing. 

Do you really think that's attractive?

 5. People did not post them on Facebook (okay, maybe twice a year at the max).

That's what Instagram and Snapchat are for.

6. The pictures related to the captions.

If the caption says you're going somewhere, the picture should not be of you in the car on the way there. Ugh. 

One imprtant sentence that I've been wanting to say for a long time:

If you text or chat online with someone frequently, you should be able to talk to them in person easily and just as frequently.

Rebalanced

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:4-5 

There are particular moments where I am struck by the degree of my sin. Today, I was hit by my anger and self-righteousness toward another sinner. Even though I may persuade myself for a time that I'm in the right, I know deep down that the truth is quite the opposite. Sooner or later that truth dawns on me and with it comes a rush of emotions: guilt, regret, and the desire to change what I've done.

Today, that desire was to repair the damage I know has been done to both me and her. I wanted to do everything I could to make up for my wrongs. The problem is, the more I realized the extent of my sin, the more I came to see that I can never make up for it. I can apologize, ask for forgiveness, change my behavior, and reach out, but even that will never be enough to rebalance the scale again.

Our sin weighs us down so heavily that we have no hope of freeing ourselves. Though we try, our efforts are to no avail. But along came one who can free us from sin. Christ paid for everything in full. By the grace of God, my scale has been rebalanced. Now, I've been a Christian as long as I can remember, but that grace still blows my mind. Every time it hits me, I am filled even more with love for my God and joy in him.

Flaws and All

When I'm upset about something or having a bad day, my (bad) tendency is to run to social media. I've thought about why that is and I think I've got it figured out: the internet is like another world. When my world isn't the way I want it, the internet is my escape route. Fact of Natalie: I hate crying and I hate being upset. I'm not very emotional (for a girl), so, to me, crying and letting any kind of pain get the better of me are signs of weakness. When the pain piles up, I'll do almost anything to push it away, to avoid letting it affect me.

Social media, especially, has a way of making life look a lot better than it is. Nobody (or almost nobody) posts about their failures, worries, or faults. We post about our achievements, good days, and fun times and when we get that, "like," we feel good because people like what we said or did. In this way, I think social media is very flawed. It gives us a false sense of happiness and popularity and creates a false impressionof of all of us. If I compare my life in the real world to someone's life on their Facebook timeline, I'm bound to end up depressed or discontent. The more I think about it, the less I like social media. It provides an false escape from your real-world problems, which only draws them out. But it also creates an distorted impression of us- one that leaves out the flaws.

Perhaps I'm being too hard on social media. Now that I think about it, this is not the fault of social media; it's our fault. We create the false impression. We hide the flaws. And we don't just do this on social media, we do it all the time. We concentrate so hard on making the right impression and looking good, covering up our struggles. Why? Our struggles are ugly, embarrassing sin. If people saw that, they wouldn't like us, right? Our struggles are also reality. Hiding that reality away- putting our sin out of sight- doesn't make it change; it only makes your sin harder to deal with. So, if that's not the right impression, what is? What kind of impression should I try to make? The answer is this: don't try to make an impression. To me, the most genuine people are those who don't try to cover up their flaws. It's easy to be open and honest with them because they're open and honest with you. They're real. They reflect God's unconditional love, accepting us, flaws and all. And that's the kind of person I want to be.

Philosophy

Sometimes I have a hard time saying what I mean... but here's a try:

What I am beginning to love most about debate is not the research, the social time, or the arguing itself. It is this- debate constantly forces you to develop, understand, defend, and even believe in new philosophies. As I am preparing for the National Championship with my partner, my reasoning behind our case is evolving every time I hear a new argument against it. Whenever I read about a new case we might go against, I'm forced to adopt a philosophy against it. Further research might develop or change that philosophy. When I discuss cases and arguments with other debaters, I realize how we all- even my partner and I- have such different philosophies. This is a good thing. Through discussion and debate, we come to understand the pros and cons of many different viewpoints. 

I am realizing how much this applies to life outside the debate round. We are so quick to criticize or correct someone's behavior just as we are so quick to reject arguments in debate. But without understanding someone's viewpoint- their philosophy- we cannot fully understand their behavior. That's not to say every behavior and idea is justified through a different view- no. Every philosophy is flawed. My focus, in debate and in life, is to understand outside reasoning and better my philosophy in response to opposing arguments.

Instead of rejecting the points by the other team, we should listen charitably, understanding the opposing philosophy, and pick our points tactfully.